After we've come out of our denial that we're being abused ("It's really not so bad.") -- when we're ready to walk away from family pressure ("You must keep the family together.") -- when religious beliefs no longer hold us hostage ("Marriage is a sacred vow.") -- when we overcome shame ("I don't want anyone to know.") . . . .
When we know that our very sanity and maybe our lives are being destroyed by living with an abuser . . . .
We make the decision -- we must leave.
But how do we get out safely? I've just published a tips booklet, courtesy of the National Center for Victims of Crime, titled 100 Ways to Leave an Abuser (Safely). You can check it out on my web site -- www.boomeranglove.com -- click on Tips Booklets.
There are many things to remember to take with you, people to contact, back-up plans to make, careful strategies to lay in place. This little booklet has tips on how to plan your get-away, how to execute it and how to make your new home safe.
Remember that the first two weeks after we announce we're leaving -- or after we leave -- are the most highly emotional for the abuser. Abuser behaviors are very similar to those of people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (see entry on this blog re Domestic Violence & Borderline Behavior Compared).
So our leaving must be carefully planned. My new tips booklet will help you move through this process with a sense of confidence.
Are you in the process, or do you wish to leave an abuser? Share your thoughts and experiences with us so we can all be better prepared.