BEHAVIORS INDICATING Borderline Personality Disorder

Does your partner act like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?   On my web site, I have a section titled Red Flags (http://www.boomeranglove.com/asp/redflags-20.asp.  Here you can study over 80 behaviors that indicate the possible presence of Borderline Personality Disorder.

Dr. J. Kent Griffiths has spent over 30 years compiling his thoughts on what he considers to be a characer disorder/personality disorder.  He has graciously allowed me to reprint his behavior list on both my web site and in my book Breaking Free from Boomerang Love.

Dr. Griffiths states that a character disordered person is different from everyone else by their "baseline' behavior -- meaning that they return to the deviant behavior over time. 

All of us have bad days.  Dr. Griffiths says that problems occur only when the majority of behavior is present and repetitive over time.

Check out the above Red Flags section of my web site and then return here to comment below on your thoughts.

Comments

[Lynn Melville]

Hello, Iris --

I'm amazed that someone would use Nyquil to drug someone else. I know it knocks me out when I have a cold, and I love it for that purpose -- but sexually molesting someone?

You say you and your daughter are in counseling for this. That's a good first step.

But as you seem to know, a predator is always a predator. If he molested your sweet daughter, he'll do it again to someone else -- unless punished.

You say you "do not know what to do about him with the law. You want him punished but not at the expense of your daughter."

I suggest you just talk with your local district attorney. Tell them what happened, but that you're concerned about the protection of your daughter.

I presume you mean that you don't want her to have to testify in court, in front of this man. It's my understanding that the courts are very understanding about this sensitive issue with children.

If you talk with the DA, you'll at least know what they can do to protect your daughter. It's in your hands whether or not you decide to prosecute him.

I believe I've heard that the courts will let children testify with the molester out of the room.

And you know, Iris, I believe it's important to teach our children to hold other people accountable for their actions. This is a horrendous thing to have happened -- but what better way for your daughter to feel vindicated than to stand up for herself and testify against him?

You might be surprised that the court action is the very thing that helps your daughter heal -- rather than be damaged by it.

Let us know what you decide. We care.

[Iris]

I read the book Borderline Personality Disorder. I had a reltionship and married a man. He did terriable things . mental abuse was the worse.. and the things that were not mental were things that could never be proven . i knew it happened but had no proof. Also he was sex driven.. over sexed . used money to control.. he also did lots of things but i would always question myself.. he would make you think he was crazy.. he was very believable. and no one else saw what i saw so it made you question .. am i crazy. everything is planned and he did nothing without an agenda.. to benifit himself. the worse thing was that he had druged me i did not put it togather until it was too late and days later.. then years later... after my divorce to him.. ( he was in and out of relationship.. cheeting always..) If you ever had a relationship with him he thought that he owned you or had rights to you some way. never let you go really .. kept you tied to him some way so he could always come back used any excuse and anyone to keep you in his life... my Daughter was 4 months old when he came into our lives in a relationship.. I did not even really want that type of relationship with him wanted to be friends but he had a way to push it on to more.. so he was the only father my daughter new.. she loved him.. and he know just how to captivate her . we stayed open to him bing in her life because or his role and It was her step dad . he used her to get to me.. one day.. this past easter....she wanted him to come eat with us. he did.. i ended up passed out.. he gave her an over abundance of Nyquil.. she could not get up he touched her ... theirs more but that is the over view of it..i knew something happened strange that day .. because it was simular to years ago.. though i did not know when he would have gotten the chance to drug me again because i was very careful after that other time. the shock was that he touched my Daughter.. she changed drmaticly after that she did not want anything to do with him.. we have reported it and we are in canciling for this... i was abused sexually as a child.. and it has been over whelming for me.. he still will try and contact us.. has not been back over.. this happened Easter 2008 she comfided in someone in at the end of May... but we did questions That easter.. because it was a strange day.. i did not know about the Nyquil overdose until later as well. so i thouth it was just me who was passed out. do not know waht to do about him with the law i want him punished but not at the expence of my daughter.. yes i know their are more victums.. but he is smart and preditors do not leave evidance.. her word against his they say it is hard to prove.. .. please advise.