People who abuse us don't usually show that behavior in the beginning of our relationship with them. They're on their good behavior when we first meet them -- and on through the infatuation phase.
It's when things begin to settle down (three to six months later), when our relationship is supposed to deepen into the cuddling/snuggling/trust phase, that the odd behavior begins to come out.
Over the course of his 30-year career, Dr. Kent Griffiths, a mental health therapist in Holladay, Utah, has compiled a list of 100 behaviors that describe what he calls a character disorder or personality disorder.
Dr. Griffiths believes that character disordered people show themselves as different from everyone else by their baseline behavior -- meaning they return to their deviant behavior over time (usually in 3 to 6 months).
Dr. Griffiths has allowed me to publish his list of abusive behaviors as a tips booklet titled 100 Ways to Spot an Abuser. If interested, you can check out my web site -- www.boomeranglove.com -- and click on Tips Booklets for some sample behaviors.
1. Low stress tolerance with explosive behavior
2. Moody, switching from nice guy/gal to anger without much provocation
3. Uses threats and intimidation to keep others chained to them
4. Refuses to take resonsibility for their behavior.
Sound familiar? Care to share some of the abusive behavior you've observed in your partner or others? Use the comment form below to let us know what you've experienced.