100 WAYS TO LEAVE AN ABUSER (SAFELY)

After we've come out of our denial that we're being abused ("It's really not so bad.") -- when we're ready to walk away from family pressure ("You must keep the family together.") -- when religious beliefs no longer hold us hostage ("Marriage is a sacred vow.") -- when we overcome shame ("I don't want anyone to know.") . . . .

When we know that our very sanity and maybe our lives are being destroyed by living with an abuser . . . .

We make the decision -- we must leave.

But how do we get out safely?  I've just published a tips booklet, courtesy of the National Center for Victims of Crime, titled 100 Ways to Leave an Abuser (Safely).  You can check it out on my web site -- www.boomeranglove.com -- click on Tips Booklets.

There are many things to remember to take with you, people to contact, back-up plans to make, careful strategies to lay in place.  This little booklet has tips on how to plan your get-away, how to execute it and how to make your new home safe.

Remember that the first two weeks after we announce we're leaving -- or after we leave -- are the most highly emotional for the abuser.  Abuser behaviors are very similar to those of people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (see entry on this blog re Domestic Violence & Borderline Behavior Compared).

So our leaving must be carefully planned.  My new tips booklet will help you move through this process with a sense of confidence.

Are you in the process, or do you wish to leave an abuser?  Share your thoughts and experiences with us so we can all be better prepared.

Comments

[Vy Cariously]

I left 8 months ago, and he hasn't let go yet...he's now in prison, with multiple violations of the protection from abuse order. He's also charged with stalking now, and I'm so hoping that will keep him there for a couple of years at least. The only thing is, the experts (probation officer, and D.A.'s office), believe he will be after me after he's out...even if he's in for five or more years. His sister and the probation officer believe he will kill me to regain control over me.
One final thing though...I haven't felt this FREE in so long! I've lived the past 8 months since I left in fear, but my life is MINE now, and it's infinitely better than being there, STUCK in that place :)

[Identity Theft Protection]

I just came across your blog and wanted to drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with the information you have posted here. Keep up the great work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!

[AvisBailee]

I think, You left him before, so do it again! He obviously doesn't love you. NO REAL MAN would lay a hand on you and kick you out when he finds out you're having his baby. NO REAL MAN will make you walk yourself to the hospital. If you have left him before then do it again, NOW!!!