Stop the Abuse

ANOTHER STRANGLING: Yale Student Annie Le

Omigosh.  First Rihanna told the cops in February that Chris Brown strangled her until she lost consciousness, and when she came to he was gone !  It was only her screams that brought someone to her car for a call to 911.

Then this week Whitney Houston finally got honest with Oprah re the abuse she put up with from ex-husband Bobby Brown.  She said, "I tried to make myself smaller so he as the man could be bigger."  Oprah said, "You were trying to be the Good Wife."

And now the tragic ending to the story of the disappearance of the bride-to-be, Yale student Annie Le . . . strangled and stuffed into the wall of the very laboratory that she had worked in. 

Rihanna survived because Brown stopped before she was dead.  Whitney is surviving because she got out.

Annie Le hadn't read the two posts here on my blog -- STRANGLING: How to Prevent Your Death and STRANGLING: More Ways to Prevent Your Death.  (Find these posts in the column to the left.)

My first post says it takes a full SEVEN MINUTES TO DIE BY STRANGLING.  The problem is that we lose consciousness well before that time. 

If you're in a relationship where a man -- or a woman -- has laid their hands on your throat, know that THEY WILL DO IT AGAIN.  Read my two posts, memorize them and do what the second post says -- practice your defensive moves with a partner.  You won't have time to try to remember your moves the next time.

And rent the film 'Enough' with Jennifer Lopez starring as the abused wife. 

Start making your plans to get out.  Go to my web site -- www.boomeranglove.com -- and order the tips booklet titled "100 Ways to Leave an Abuser (Safely)".

Be aware that four women are murdered every day in this country, by their intimate partner.  25 percent of these killings are witnessed by their own children. 

SO -- the first two weeks after a person tells theire abuser they're leaving are the most dangerous.  The leaving must be planned carefully.  In fact, my booklet says not to tell your abuser you're leaving at all -- leave when they don't know you're leaving, when they're away from the home.

Have you experienced someone trying to strangle you?  How did you get away?  Are you getting help now?  Share with us.  We care.

STRANGLING: More Ways to Prevent Your Death

I previously posted advice on how to break a strangler's hold on your neck by quickly pushing very hard with your thumbs on the person's eyeballs.  The optical nerve is directly behind the eyeball.  Pressing hard and deep on the eyeballs will make the strangler pass out.

I recently received a comment from Jerry Lane, adding some great advice.  Rather than post his advice in the Comments section, I decided to print his comment here in a full post, to give it the attention it deserves. 

It's important to remember that if a person tries to strangle you once,  they 'will' do it again.  If you are temporarily unable to move away from this person, you 'must' be prepared for the next time. 

Jerry says:

     "I have a black belt in Judo and have been trained in the use of strangle holds.  From a self-defense perspective, it is very important to take effective action quickly. 

     "It may take many minutes to kill someone with a choke or strangle.  However, a properly applied strangle will cause someone to pass out within 8 to 10 seconds.  Once you are unconscious, it's irrelevant how long it will take to kill you.

     "Pressure on the eyeballs is an excellent self defense move, but some people are too squeamish to follow through with such a maneuver.

     "Depending on how the attacker is applying the choke, you may buy a little extra time by tucking your chin to your chest and shrugging your shoulders (turtle up) to relieve some of the pressure.

     "You must act immediately and effectively, since your attacker is most likely bigger and stronger.  Pounding on arms or chest with your fists will most likely not work.

     "Priority one is to relieve the pressure.  If it's a front, manual choke, try to grab the attacker's thumbs and pry them off. Pull out and down with all your strength.

     "If you cannot dislodge the thumbs, go for the little fingers.  Apply as much force against the joints as you can.  A properly applied pinky lock is very painful and can put a large man on his knees.

     "Find someone to practice these maneuvers with until it becomes automatic.  You won't have time to think if someone attacks you.

     "One the strangle is released, your next priority is escape.  Otherwise, the attack will probably resume.

     "Remember, this is all happening in the span of a few seconds.  Stomp on your attacker's instep (foot), or kick him hards in the shins or groin.

     "While you're doing all this, scream for help.  Make as much commotion as you can.

     "I can't cover all the bases in this kind of post.  Seek out a good self defense instructor and take lessons.  Practice, practice, practice."

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Thank you so much, Jerry.  This is such valuable information.  I know you have saved lives by taking the time to post your information here.

And readers, don't forget the Jennifer Lopez film "Enough".  She did exactly what Jerry is advising -- she found a good self defense instructor, got good training, and saved her own life by doing so.  If you haven't seen it, make that a priority.  'Nuff said.