Lynn Melville

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July 27, 2012


You could not stand it if you walked for only ONE week in our shoes, the shoes of someome suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder.

We NEVER want to destroy some body else. We destroy ourselves.

If you become in contact with a Borderline, the best thing he can do is to TELL you about his disorder and WHAT problems could be coming up in a relationship. We never try to do something bad to our partner, but we are impulsive, with 1000 emotions we cannot control.

I agree, Larry. Even if a person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder is in therapy and actively participating in treatment modes to help them control their misinterpretations of interactions, any kind of sress can throw the whole 'ballgame' off. (Pardon the pun.)

The difficulty for the Borderline is to actually be able to 'see' when they're over-reacting. The next step after that is to 'stop' the over-reactions.

Struggling under any kind of stress will make this process alomost impossible.

I guess being transferred t another team is quite a strong stress for mind. Not everyone can cope with it without consequences. New people, new surroundings, who knows what mind can invent to protect itself in such a situation?

Hi, Virtual --

I agree that finding someone to be a 'successful' Borderline buddy would be a challenging task.

But the behaviors of a Borderline aren't hard to recognize. Misperceptions, leading to inappropriate interactions with people, are pretty clear to most people.

I see the value of the buddy as being just that --someone the person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder 'trusts' -- someone they're willing to open up to.

Someone they could ask,"Was I out of line with that?" "Could that interaction have been interpreted another way?

The buddy wouldn't be offering treatment.

This leads to your second requirement -- "the sufferer would need to tell the truth". This would be a given if the Borderline were honestly in treatment with a qualified mental health professional.

So yes, not an automatic success situation. But for a Borderline who really wants to stop causing pain in their own life and that of others, I like this buddy concept.

Perhaps then these Bordrlines truly seeking to recover from the disorder will begin speaking to others about it. Chicago Bears wide receiver Marshall Brandon did that in May of 2010, when he held a press conference to confess to strugling with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Most Borderlines don't know the pain in their lives is being caused by something that can be diagnosed, named and treated.

Lynn, in your blog article of 7-27-12, you ask, "Would a Borderline Buddy help your partner live a happier and more successful life?" and I believe it would help, but with qualifiers:

1) The Buddy would need to understand the Disorder pretty well, and 2)The sufferer would need to tell the truth.

I think these are two pretty difficult tests to meet, but without them what good could a "buddy" of this type really do?

Your thoughts on my last, sincere question, now, would sure be appreciated.

Thanks for your committment to this cause!

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