BARRIERS TO LEAVING AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, Courtesy of Domestic Violence Solutions, County of Santa Barbara, California:
Contrary to popular belief, people do not always stay in an abusive relationship because they lack self-esteem (although self-esteem is typically one of the first casualties of abuse). Here are some of the other significant reasons:
* Love ("My partner has many good qualities and I really do love him/her.")
* Loyalty ("If he/she had cancer, I'd stay.")
* Economic dependence ("How will I support myself and the children?")
* Religious beliefs ("Marriage is a sacred vow. Turn the other cheek.")
* Family pressure ("Keep the family together.")
* Responsibility/guilt ("If I were a better partner, he/she wouldn't treat me this way.")
* Denial/Minimizing ("It's really not so bad.")
* Optimism ("Things will get better. My partner is just going through a difficult time right now.")
* Gender conditioning ("This is the way men/women are.")
* Fear ("I don't know how I'd cope with home, work, and the children by myself.")
* Security ("I always thought I'd marry and live happily ever after.")
* Shame ("I don't want anyone to know.")
* Survival ("He/she will never let me leave. He/she will kill me first.")




Recent Comments